Track

Many years ago, an overweight slightly retarded child named Tommy D ran the mile in 14 minutes and 41 seconds — the worst time in school history. After being teased by his peers, the boy referred to as Tommy Dummy was determined to run the mile faster. One weekend, Tommy went to the field and ran the mile alone in under ten minutes. This is known only because he corpse was found at the finish line the following Monday grasping his stopwatch. Since then, each time students run the mile, the